I’m not sure how much longer I can do this game – its evil. Last night I had the pleasure of sitting down to a beautiful mixed leaf salad with pan fried baby aubergines, artichokes, toasted pine nuts, cherry tomatoes all topped off with the gorgeous gesiers confits de canard and it looked divine. Then, much to the surprise of the cook, I said I had one more ingredient to add. When I opened what looked like tesco value pet food I was categorically informed that today’s mystery can would not be making it into the salad. However, I wasn’t too disappointed as once I had drained it I identified the ingredient as mock duck. What luck I thought – mock duck with a duck salad – easy. After frying it off in the duck fat from the confit if you squinted you might just be able to convince yourself it looked and smelt like duck – but then I tasted it. I can safely say that mock duck must be made for vegetarians who have NEVER EATEN MEAT. It’s revolting. Absolutely, utterly, completely, comprehensively, undeniably….wrong. So unnatural was this pan fried salty sponge textured reformed gluten it actually made my forehead itch. I’m dreading tonight.
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