Day 3: James

I'll be honest, by this point I was feeling pretty smug. I'm batting at 100% after 2 days, not only have I been OK with the cans but I'd eaten the whole can each day rather than the 50% required by law. I know I stitched Sarah up with some of her cans, and she stitched Kye up with some of his, but I reckoned Claudia had been too soft I was going to walk this.

yeah

Day 3: Chicken stir-fry with noodles and mystery can. I pick the shortest can, I don't know why, but it seemed like a reasonable shout and when shaken, sounded like something solid in liquid. I figure drain the sauce and stir-fry the solids. Claudia's written "Cook thoroughly" on the instructions (see, she's even given hints, this will be easy).

I put the can opener in and the can hisses, Then a smell of wine / old beer comes out. This I take to be a bad sign. Further inspection reveals only one date printed on the can "2008-03-18" That's err 11 months back. I open the can:




Lumps of something in a red sauce. I decide to boil it and see if that helps, then add only the solids to the stir-fry. I remove the stir fry from the pan and serve the untainted version to my housemate, then transfer the lumps of what I presume is a protien/soya bean type mock meat like Kye endured yesterday to the pan.



It disintegrates into a paste. Perfect. I give up and transfer it to the side of my stir-fry. Time to man-up and suck it up.



Let me start with the smell, it was completely rank. I have never put anything that smelt that bad in my mouth. The texture was a sort of shrimp-paste-esque mess. Man up. For England James!



Wow. If salt could rot I reckon it'd taste a lot like this. I manage about 1/2 a spoon. Utterly defeated I slink off to the sofa suddenly not hungry. I've had a few little bits of stir-fry that weren't touching the contaminated stuff from the can. That was horrific. I hope the can had gone off, I can't imagine what you'd do with the contents if it was supposed to be like that. There goes my perfect record on the 3rd day. I don't want tomorrow to come. I go to bed. Touche Claudia.

James